Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in Caity's LiveJournal:

Monday, April 14th, 2008
12:03 am	woww.  wow, looking back i was so NAIVE.  man was i a fucking dumbass. i'm so glad i finally grew up & came to terms with reality! mann i aint gonna know who im marrying this young. and im not gonna be all hung up on some guy. im independent and if a guy comes along that i like, than we'll see what happens. but am i gnna be all loveydovey shit? hell no. but yeah alots changed since that last post. i am not that nice to everyone anymore,  i am only gonna talk to people on the same level as me with similiar paths in life. i dont hangout w/ losers & ppl who dont do anything w/ their lives. life is good. the people are good. works good. schools good. im set and its staying that way. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007
1:03 pm	protect yourself. sometime a person goes through too much pain that their heart becomes cold. sometimes a person gives too many chances that there's not that "one last chance" to give, sometimes a person won't let go of the past in order to prevent future pain. sometimes a person is never completely understood, but that is where the beauty lies. you can't fall. if you don't jump. letting go isn't the  same as giving up... pain is about as cold as ice. your heart becomes numb,  while your frozen in thought. i forgive, but never forget: for forgiving strengthens the heart; while forgetting weakens the mind. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 30th, 2007
12:02 am	wow. things have changed so much in the past week for me. the past is staying in the past.  i have moved on, and i can honestly say that. i am happy about it, and content with my "lovelife" how it is now. i met an amazing guy and am taking my time getting to know him. i'm letting go, i'm jumping, and i'm gonna fall either way. but that is a risk i am willing to take, and thats gotta mean something. :) this weekend was amazing, i'll post more about it soon. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
1:54 pm	update much? so, you see i'm pretty sick. have been the past week. i'll start with the past weekend. friday-- hungout with my besfriend cayla, her boyfriend, and dylan it was very much fun :) and cayla spent the day, yay! saturday-- i went to the mall with cayla :) we bought clothes and accessories. than i bussed tables with anthony & jesse. we three went to daytona to chill wit dyan. at nighttime i slept over karo's wit her my sister, and cay. sunday-- beach day :) very fun, may i add! *this weekend was prob one of the best in awhile gotta spend it wit my bestfriendddd<3 so sunday morning the sickness started. cay and i thought it was just from a lack of sleep but nope, were still sick to this day. our mamas been loading us up wit medz. i gotta go to the doctor in an hour :/ this week was alright monday got my check, rested and chilled wit cayla tuesday we went to the mall wit michael & logan had to get logan a bday present today well im really sick trying to recooperate cause this friday is cay's bday, wknd @ beach w/ her! last week of regular classes @ dbcc next week finals, than college is done 1month of highschool left (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
10:37 am	on the other note; i've only had a year and a half of real high school. than i was thrown into this world of stress, papers, and exams. i believe that this was a stupid decision for me to make. i don't have enough of a foundation of education behind me to succeed the way i wish. i mean, 3/5 classes i've got an a/b average. math & english, i am literally failing. doesn't look like i'll be doing this next year. & how will that affect me when i graduate highschool? today is my last day of work. i'm finally getting away from this bullshit job. i'm going to a jobfair saturday. i'm getting a better job this time. i love cayla leigh smeresky. yeah, she's 2.5 years younger than i. but, she's like a mini-me. she stands a lot where i stood in 9th grade; yet is going through something very similiar as i. she is becoming a best friend, she is like my pers. twin. logan... idk where things will end up there. i think we're too young for what we want. we're not ready. i know we will both hurt each other; if we don't give this time. yet i have & always will love him. 3y ears next month<3 of love, betrayal, friendship. butwe'vepulledtogether; andthatswhatmatters. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
9:03 pm	Jesse's Birthday. Was today. Him, I, Bri, Lauren, & Logan went to Rock Springs to celebrate. It was alot of fun, with the exception of one akward thing. We tubed/swam down the lazy river & than walked on a nature path. It is so beautiful there, it really doesn't look like Florida. The water is blue-greenish and very clear. We went out to dinner afterwards & that was fun. Than I dropped them all off & now I'm home. I need to write an essay but I just don't have the strength to do so. I cannot write an essay right now, I just can't. (Comment on this)
10:33 am	Damn College. Is stressing the hell outta me. Doesn't help that this teacher is WACKKK! && Attendance is mandatory for this class. I got 4 damn papers to write within like, 2 weeks. && I gotta write && give a speech, too. But it's worth it in the end. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:51 am	Over. Yeah so, this sucks. I gave too many chances. Thinking it was going to change. Because I loved him, unconditionally. && yet, I always will, in a way. I've been too oblivious, yet I haven't. I don't like feeling this, but it's inevitable. This has gone on for just about three years now. I cannot love, I cannot feel the way I should to others. A part of me has gone through too much pain from him. The pain has been placed upon me both directly, && indirectly. I cannot just live by life like nothing is wrong. I will deal with my feelings. I won't fake happiness. I won't pretend to be okay. Sometimes a person just goes through too much pain; && has to take the time they need to cope. On the other note, Dytna Bch three times this week. BCR two of the times. Amanda && I stay freshhhhh, haha<3 The weekend is over, time for essays, reading, tests. But of course a beach trip or two :D (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
8:42 pm	Today Well...I went to first period. And than to DBCC. Went to my computer class and took a test and got an A, heck yeah! :D My economics class was cancelled and I didnt feel good so I went back to the high school and made spirit sticks for next week for about 2 hours. Than went with Bree to Wendy's, the food was grosssssss. Um at cheerleading we had fun, we all flew, haha. Um BREE AND NIKKI DID THEIR BACKHANDSPRINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE YEARS! AND I DID MY STANDING BACK TUCK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE A YEAR! I am so proud of us. They're coming over tomorrow to work on tumbling more so we will have it by homecoming game next Friday :) Umm than I worked..now Im home. Homecoming week is gonna be great. I cant wait. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
8:50 pm	Good day I think I failed an exam today. That makes me disappointed in mysef. I need yo buckle down harder with my schoolwork. I need to really set my priorities, and keep them. I hungout with David today. I miss hanging out with him. He's such a great friend. & he gives great advice. Thanks for all you've done for me. I realized I really do love Logan. I really do believe I am in love with him. He has made me happier than I've ever been. So...I think I'm gonna start opening up to more people. I'm gonna start talking to those who had an impact on my life. I'm ready to let go of the past, and my fears about the future. I'm going to push harder to achieve my goals, as well as reach my dreams. Well, I'm going to Steph's Night. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
11:42 pm	& I'm not so sure If I'm sure of anything anymore. What comes around, goes around? Love. Those four letters. One word. So many different meanings. True love? Have I found it? I question my feelings day by day. I question my intentions day by day. I don't want to hurt people I care about. I really don't mean too. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know how I feel. And that....just kills me. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 7th, 2006
2:06 pm	TODAY! Um...so today, my sister & I almost missed the dang bus.  I got to first period and it was so boring&stupid as usual. I hate that teacher, so dang much! Than I saw Kaley after 1st period  so I walked with/talked to her for a little while  before I went over to DBCC. I got there, & had 3 hours left to kill. I played on the computer & ate. Than i'm finally going to my Psych. class && I see my buddy John from some distance and I hear one word being screamed, "HOME!" I was like your kiddddding. He told me that our teacher cancelled class today. So I was like WTF I have been sitting here since 9  & it's 12:30 now, & class is cancelled!! So I had him give me a ride over to my Mom's work & i have been sitting here playing on her computer now. Im leaving to go get some food in a bit, than going to cheerleading practice. FIRST HOME GAME TOMORROW,  COME SUPPORT :] i<3jcls. Current Mood: hungry (Comment on this)
2:00 pm	Logggie's So... I just got home from Logan's on Tuesday. I was there for 5 days. It was hard coming home. It always is. But this time is was harder. I just couldn't stay strong. I almost did. I kissed him and he turned to leave, but I started crying and grabbed him and couldn't let go of him. it was so hard. :[ I had alot of fun though. So much fun.  We always do. I love my boyfriend/best friend. I have so many bruises and cuts though, from this river, and canoeing. I went to stand up in the canoe and give Loggie a kiss and I fell out. & the canoe toppled over and made Logan fall out too. I am so clumsy, but hey, I wanted to give him a kiss :] Umm yeah we did alot of fun stuff like always but of course the best part is holding each other and we got to sleep togetherr, yayy :DD Well I want to see Logan right now, I am so sad, I havent cried yet today, thats really good, but im sad. IM MARRYING JCLS, KBYE! Current Mood: missing Loggie Poo (Comment on this)
Monday, June 26th, 2006
11:30 am	My Weekend   My weekend was pretty awesome.  I guess I shall start with Friday.  So. I came down to my dad's house.  He showed me the new house. Were not moving into it until the end of july. but i like it, its pretty, and nice. Well I went out to dinner with my youngest sister and my parents. It was fun. I love being down there. Saturdayyyy . I went to Amanda's house for a little bit. Made plans with her for Sunday-Tuesday. Found out some interesting stuff.  That kinda impacted my life greatly. Than I went out to dinner with my parents  and youngest sister and oldest sister. We went to see "Click" afterwards. Good movie, you should see it sometime. hm Sundayyy. We had a BBQ Sunday and Amanda came over. Than we went to my church to say goodbye to my youth pastor. We had a nice dinner and fellowship and than we had to say goodbye speeches. Of course I did, I am going to miss James so much. He has truly always been there for me ever since I met him. But I know God is calling him so I support his decision. Plus, he'll help us all out on the road being a cop ;P So today I am babysitting by youngest sister  w. Amanda till 4, than going into work 5-8. Im feeling sick again though. I dont know. I woke up on my hardwood floor this morning. I guess I layed down on it and fell asleep last night. So Im all cramped up & crap now. Okay this is enough journaling for today. <3. Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 24th, 2006
10:09 pm	Got another Lj Well I got a LJ again. Went to Amandas today. Than to movies. Bleh. Current Mood: Whatever. (Comment on this)